“We had to destroy the myth because [the Austin Powers movies] f**ked us. I am a huge Mike Myers fan, so don’t get me wrong, but he kind of f**ked us, made it impossible to do the gags.”
The above quote came from a still-wet-behind-the-blonde-Bond-ears of Daniel Craig in 2005. It was his colorful way of explaining why his Bond would be “darker” and “less silly” then the quip happy (Moore) or unintentionally hysterically over-earnest seriousness (Dalton) of Bonds in the past. The quote makes sense. For years after Mel Brooks’ undisputed masterpiece Blazing Saddles (1974) no one would dare make a Western. Saddles surgically dissected every trop in the genre to the point that even a man riding a horse into town would cause audiences to laugh. (“What did he say?” “He said the sheriff is near!”) While Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) is no Blazing Saddles, Myers and crew do a rather good job of making SPECTRE in large and Blofeld specifically into one big gag. I’m sure there are many raised on Powers that can’t watch Donald Pleasence in You Only Live Twice (1967) without blowing soda through their noise. But here we are, December 2014, and Christmas, at least for this Bond fan, has come early. Thanks to official announcements and Sony email leaks in the past week we now know that next year Bond will be back in SPECTRE (2015)!
I love SPECTRE. I love Blofeld as the Joker to Bonds Batman; the nemesis he can never get. The move to bring back one Ernst Stavro Blofeld now makes perfect sense, and not only because we are far enough away from Austin Powers and Mike Myers is currently serving a life sentence in movie jail (Possibly for parole in 2024). Call it the “Marvel Factor.” I think Broccoli and brother-in-law Wilson see Bond world building possibilities and want some of that sweet Marvel movie action. I could be wrong but we are kind of starting with a clean slate… again. New M in the old office, Moneypenny and Q are now on the board and ready to play, why not get some serialization going where Blofeld can build up a bullpen of baddies (numbers 2 thru 34) and dispatch them over a multiple film run? I mean, even the title suggest the beginning of something very different. From here we could go SPECTRE: Winters Solder or SPECTRE: Mocking Jay Pt.3 or even SPECTRE vs. SHIELD; may the best anagram win! OK, perhaps not but what I’m trying to say is I couldn’t be more jazzed about the return of the most classic baddie in the Bond canon and I look forward to SPECTRE being a major player once again. I just have one, itsy bitsy, issue. Lets talk Waltz.
Love me Christopher Waltz. If you have a soul you do too. Is he going to make an amazing, fantastic, magnificent, top three Bond villain? You’re God damn right! The man can freeze your blood by drinking a glass of milk for crying out loud.
Yes, he’s going to kill it. So why, Oh why, has his character been listed as “Franz Oberhauser,” the alleged son of Bond’s climbing instructor and mentor Hannes Oberhauser? Look, if that is who is going to be OK. But doesn’t this smell a hell of a lot like “NO! Benedict Cumberbatch is not playing Khan in the new Star Trek II, not the Wrath of Khan (2013). He is playing Commander John Harrison, cross our heart, hope to die, stick a Klingon Kut’luch in our eye.” Man I really hope Broccoli and co. are not pulling the same crap. I want Waltz to be Blofeld, you want Waltz to be Blofeld, Waltz wants Waltz to be Blofeld and guess what? I’d be willing right here, right now, to put down a sizable bet that Waltz is Blofeld. I just wish they would come out and tell us. EON, you can admit that “Hey, we saw The Zero Theorem (2013) (what, you didn’t) and said immediately, that our Blofeld!” What’s wrong with that? This cheep JJ Abrams crap is beneath Bond and Broccoli. It backfired for Trek, big time. Look, Waltz is our new Blofeld and he is going to be perfect.
One last casting note, Dave Bautista, he of Drax Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014) fame, has been listed in the cast. Do I smell another strong silent henchman out of the Oddjob, Jaws, Necros school? Oh how I hope so…
Bond is currently firing on all cylinders. With Mendes returning, Hoyte Van Hoytema shooting, Waltz as Blofeld (right? Right!), SPECTRE in the internet age, and the fact that EON followed Blog James Blogs advice and took more then two years between projects, I’d say everything is lined up for another stellar Bond outing. Now, lets see if Broccoli, Blofeld like, can wrestle that $300 million dollars from Sony.
A quick Blog James Blog programing note; I noticed to my horror and shame it’s been a year since I’ve posted. How time flies. This is the kick in the butt I needed. As much as it pains me, I will finish Never Say Never… and get it up soon. Thank you for you patience.